Speeches are one of the most anticipated parts of a wedding celebration. They provide an opportunity for family and friends to share heartfelt words, anecdotes and well wishes, creating lasting memories for the happy couple. However, they can also be a source of anxiety for those tasked with speaking. In this blog, I’ll share general traditions surrounding wedding speeches, offer guidance from my years of filming weddings, and provide practical tips for crafting meaningful, comfortable, and well timed speeches.
Traditional Wedding Speech Roles
Typically, wedding speeches are given by specific people, often including the father of the bride, the groom, and the best man. Each has a general theme:
The father of the bride typically welcomes guests, shares a few personal anecdotes about the bride, and offers good wishes to the couple.
The groom expresses gratitude to everyone involved in the wedding, including family, friends, and vendors, and often pays a heartfelt tribute to the bride or spouse.
The best man delivers a humorous speech filled with anecdotes about the groom, aiming to entertain while still celebrating the couple’s relationship.
In equal marriage weddings, or where couples prefer a modern twist, speech roles can be reassigned or opened up to anyone with something meaningful to share. Spouses, mothers, close friends, and siblings are increasingly stepping forward to give speeches, making this tradition more inclusive and reflective of personal relationships.
Who Should Give a Speech?
One of the first decisions to make is who will give a speech. While traditional roles are a helpful guideline, remember that anyone can take the microphone. Whether it’s your lifelong best friend, a sibling who knows you better than anyone, or a grandparent with words of wisdom, there are no rules really, it's your day.
What’s most important is that the speeches feel genuine. Speeches that reflect personality, authenticity, and genuine emotion tend to be the most memorable. While polished jokes or heartfelt stories are lovely, the essence of a great speech lies in its sincerity.
My Advice for Planning Wedding Speeches
As someone who has filmed countless weddings, I’ve seen a wide variety of speeches, from tear jerking to laugh out loud hilarious. Here are my top tips for creating a successful and stress free speech experience.
Remove the Pressure
Wedding speeches don’t need to resemble stand-up comedy routines or grand theatrical performances. Encourage your speakers to stay true to themselves and their own style. A quiet, heartfelt speech can be just as impactful as a humorous one.
Comfort is Key
Not everyone is comfortable speaking in front of a crowd. Choose speakers who feel confident, and offer plenty of support. If someone prefers to share just a few informal words rather than a full speech, that’s perfectly fine too.
Set Clear Time Limits
Help your speakers avoid confusion by giving them a specific time limit, five to seven minutes is ideal (for 3 or 4 speakers). This ensures speeches remain engaging, respects your guests’ comfort, and accommodates the schedule of your venue or caterers.
Create a Dedicated Speech Space
Setting up a designated area for speeches can significantly help speakers feel more at ease. Provide a small table or stand where they can rest their notes or device. Even something simple, like a music stand, acts as a helpful prop and can reduce the pressure of public speaking. You can dress this space to match your décor, or ask your venue or videographer if they have something suitable.
Not only does this make the experience less daunting for speakers, but it also ensures they’re well-positioned for your videographer and photographers, keeping the speeches seamless and beautifully captured.
Consider Speech Placement
Nervous speakers often tell me they wish they could get their speech over with so they can enjoy the meal. Placing speeches before the wedding breakfast allows speakers to relax sooner, while guests are attentive and eager to listen.
Speeches after the meal can work well too, but bear in mind that guests might become restless or tables may appear messy in photos or videos. If you choose this option, consider a short break before speeches to help refocus the room.
Crafting the Perfect Speech
If you’re preparing to give a speech, remember that there’s no single formula for success. Your words should come from the heart and reflect your unique relationship with the couple. Here are a few additional tips:
Start with a warm introduction. Explain your connection to the couple.
Share personal stories. Highlight moments that celebrate your bond with the couple.
Celebrate their love. Talk about what makes their relationship special.
End on a high note. Conclude with a heartfelt wish or toast.
If humour isn’t your strength, focus on sincerity. Your authenticity will leave a lasting impression.
Final Thoughts
Hopefully, this guide has provided helpful insights into planning and delivering wedding speeches. Remember, the best speeches come from the heart and reflect the individuality of the speaker and the couple. By keeping your speakers comfortable, setting clear expectations, and planning your timeline thoughtfully, you can ensure this cherished tradition adds even more joy to your celebration.
Need help capturing your wedding speeches perfectly? Get in touch to book professional videography for your big day.
For more tips to help nervous dads, grooms, or anyone looking to craft the perfect wedding speech, check out my other blogs. You’ll find practical advice to help you nail your moment in the spotlight.
Found these tips helpful? Share this blog with your friends planning their big day!
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